Cursestuck
by hellasex
Summary: Take a look into the minds of four young men and women as they take the first step into a mysterious game of Sburb; meanwhile, be entertained by the exploits of twelve memebers of an alien species as they attempt to help these children on their quest... ...God, that sounds kinda familiar, doesn't it?
1. Overture to Destruction

A group of four faced off.

A Prince of Space, pulsing with energy given to him by the One Who is Always There, snarled. Indigo blood trailed down his cheeks, the pool balls that replaced his eyes flashing rapidly.

Beside him, a Thief of Mind. On her finger, a gold band bearing four gray orbs. Another finger bore a gold band void of any orbs, sparking with green energy. Her body changed beyond belief, so much in fact that even her teal God Tier garbs couldn't handle the stress.

Across from her, the Heir of Hope. The boy no one ever expected would lead the charge against evil. His odd choice of eyewear glowed in the light surrounding the floor, occasionally reflecting his opposition.

Beside him, the Witch of Doom. Her recently cut dark brown hair rested at her shoulders, framing the determined look on her face. She didn't know who these people were, but the gray guy in the red shorts and his blind girlfriend said they were bad news. And they hadn't lied yet.

As far as she was concerned, she was the only one of her friends still alive; the same applied to the yellow windsock guy in the goggles beside her.

In all honesty, she was pissed. These people killed her brother, they killed her best friends, they even killed her girlfriend. And she was the only one who got anything good out of it. She always was. It just made her so mad, the unfairness of it all.

She raised her hands, twitching a finger or two. It was time for their session to begin.

But first, a step back must be taken. A really big step, in fact. So far back, that it isn't the Witch of Doom we will be seeing. No. We will see one of her friends, but we will get to her soon enough.

CURSESTUCK


	2. Butcher Boy

A young man stands in his neat, tidy bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 7th of August, 2008, is the day before this young man's birthday. Even though it is almost his 14th birthday, he doesn't appear to have a name... What will it be?

His name is Boastful Bore! But he does not like that name. He frowns in disgust at such a horrid name choice. His name is obviously Bill Lincoln!

Bill stands in the second floor of a two-story building on the corner of a quaint street in Savannah, Georgia. The first floor serves as his guardian's butcher shop, humbly titled "Uncle Lincoln's & Nephew's." Of course... It used to to say "& Son's" but was changed for reasons he'd rather not get into at the moment.

Bill does not like to spend a lot of time surrounded by nearly rotting swine carcasses, instead preferring to stay in his room all day talking to one of his three other friends, playing a game, and maybe even reading a book or two. He loves to read. Beside his bed, on his desk, is a signed copy of George Orwell's legendary novel, 1984, along with his high-tech desktop computer, a Miss Piggy puppet he's had all his life, as well as several other trinkets and knick knacks from various points in his life.

Out the window is one of the many small parks littering the city. Bill looks through the tinted glass, in disdain of the frolicking simpletons wasting their lives away in the dirty grass. As he turns away, he gets a good look at himself in the small mirror he uses when getting dressed.

His green eyes were cloaked behind his highly important spectacles, of which he was very ashamed. He aspired to be perfect, the best at everything. Of course, he knew that was illogical, irrational; stupid, even. He guessed he could settle for graduating from Oxford and winning a Nobel Peace Prize.

His shiny blonde hair distracted from the freckles dotting his slightly chubby face, and he smiled at the sight of his favorite orange Bookworm shirt. He couldn't decide if he wanted to wear his drab olive jacket or not today. It wasn't particularly chilly, but even he could admit it made him look better. It certainly distracted from his odd choice of khaki shorts, tall white socks, and tan sandals.

He Captchalogued the jacket hanging on his mirror into his Binary Fetch Modus. Every item he Captchalogues is given a distinct code (For example, his jacket is given the code 101101) to put in one of his ten avaliable Captchalogue cards. If another item has the same code, the item occupying the conflicting card will eject from his Modus. Generally, the larger or more complex the item, the longer the code. Much to Bill's chagrin, his Fetch Modus doesn't even use the actual binary codes for Captchalogued items.

Bill sits at his desk, opening a secret panel he installed in the side closest to his bed using the instructions from a pirated version of Carpentry for Assholes. Of course, he already knew most of that stuff; the book was more of a loose guideline than anything.

Regardless, he pulled a small orange book from the slot, turning to a page with a large heart on it. Inside was an articulate drawing of him and a certain rich blonde girl, even though he knew she would never even begin to consider a relationship with a boy like him. He sighed in dismay, but was alerted by his computer; one of his chums was pestering him!

He logged on to his customized PesterChum application, colored orange due to personal preference. Only one of his friends was online; urbanCowgirl. He smiled. She was fun to talk to. Bill accepted her chat invite, and the all-too-familiar interface appeared before him.

\- urbanCowgirl [UC] began pestering intellectualMeathook [IM] -

UC: howdy pardner!

IM: Greetings, friend.

IM: How are you today?

UC: well i'm fine and dandy!

UC: and you?

IM: I guess you could say I am "fine and dandy" as well.

IM: Is there anything in particular you'd like to deliberate about?

UC: yuh-huh

UC: one a' my other pals told me about a' fun game we could all play together!

IM: A game, you say?IM: This certainly piques my interest. What kind of game is it, may I ask?

UC: i'm not quite sure, ta' be frank

UC: all i know is that its a heap a' fun!

IM: Who told you about it?

IM: Was it PY? I'm sure you're well aware that neither I nor you find the same things... Fun as he does.

UC: no siree!

UC: PN told me

Bill's face flushed. PN was the girl of his dreams, but, as mentioned before, he had a higher chance of communicating with a race of intelligent aliens before she would feel the same.

IM: PN?

IM: I guess I trust it then.

UC: that's the spirit!

UC: her father has "connections" so she was able to get four beta copies before the beta is even released!

UC: all ya gotta do is wait for it ta' come in the mail, put the disc in, and download!

IM: Beta copies? That's a sign of imperfections.

IM: What is the game even called anyways?

UC: sburb or somethin' like that

IM: Sburb? Never heard of it.

IM: It's such an... Ugly word.

UC: the developers have been keepin' real quiet about it, but apparently it's supposed ta' be one a' the greatest adventure games of all time!

IM: Interesting. If a game like this has been able to slip past me, they must know how to keep a secret.

UC: yer right about that!

UC: mine came in the mail a couple hours ago, it takes forever to download! yers should be comin' in soon

IM: I'll be waiting.

Before Bill could type anything else, his uncle called from downstairs. Time to get to work, Bill thought with a sigh.

IM: Unfortunately, I must abscond.

IM: My uncle requires my assistance.

UC: see ya later! make sure ta' thank PN when ya get yer copy

\- urbanCowgirl [UC] ceased pestering intellectualMeathook [IM] -

Bill logged off his computer and hurried downstairs, discarding his jacket and donning a dirty apron on his way down. Splotches of dried pig's blood decorated the thick, off-white fabric, grossing Bill out beyond belief.

As soon as he reached the first floor, he was met by his uncle's thick brown mustache. Of course, it was as big as any other mustache, but to short Bill, it was definitely his uncle's most prominent feature. A long line of customers filled the common area of the relatively small meat shop, meaning orders were surely backed up, as Bill and his uncle were literally the only employees.

Bill was handed a Meat Cleaver, which was instantly allocated to the Cleaverkind Specibus of his Strife Deck. He was sent to work immediately, and toiled for hours chopping gross livestock meat.

As the sun began to set, the last group of customers left with their meats, leaving the two Lincolns to their devices. Bill's uncle discarded his apron and cleaver, washed his hands, and began to walk upstairs, but not before ruffling Bill's hair with a smile. Bill appreciated the gesture, despite his aversion to contact. He performed mostly the same actions, but before going upstairs, quickly ran to the mailbox to find an expensive-looking burgundy package.

Bill was thrilled. It was most definitely from PN, which means UC was right about the game. He retreated to his room, shutting his door quietly and turning the lights off. He opened the package to examine it's contents, turning on his desk lamp and preemptively booting up his computer.

Inside was a stack of approximately twenty one-hundred dollar bills bound by a white clip with a gold "G", two packets labeled "Bill: Server" and "Bill: Client," and a burgundy envelope sealed by another white and gold "G," which contained a letter printed in, once again, burgundy. The fancy, calligraphic letters were pleasing to Bill's eye for perfection.

The letter read:

"dear bill

my father has used his powers of persuasion (and great wealth) to coerce the creators of sburb into supplying us all with beta copies of both the server and client applications. i hope you enjoy it.

sincerely, PN

p.s. have some spare change i found stuck between my cushions. happy birthday, bud!"

Bill was both excited and disappointed. He was excited that he got a free game, and, of course, that he was several hundred dollars richer. He was disappointed, however, by PN's word choice; she called him "bud." He cried out in angst. "Friendzoned again!" he shouted, his agony echoing throughout the quiet streets.

Of course, that didn't really happen. Bill just kinda frowned at himself in the idle monitor's screensaver; a pixelized animation of the Bookworm symbol on his shirt.

He decided to forget about it, and began to download the client application of the Sburb Beta. An installer window popped up, showing a simple logo; a blue, vaguely house-shaped icon with twelve pulsating squares. The top right of the roof" had what appeared to be a chimney, while to squares below it and to the left was an extra, slightly small square that spun every couple seconds. The words "Sburb Beta" in a stylized font flashed below it, along with a download bar and approximate length of download.

It read "8:7:59," which meant the download would (Approximately) take a total length of eight hours, seven minutes, and fifty-nine seconds. Christ, that's a long time, Bill thought as he stared in awe at the screen. He put his computer into sleep mode for a set length nine hours, which would disable the monitor and all running applications except for the download, hopefully saving power and allowing the game to download faster.

He went to bed early, quickly falling asleep. He had a big day tomorrow. After all, it was going to be his 14th birthday.

CURSESTUCK


	3. Bimbos & Harlots

A young girl stands in her bedroom, surrounded by various items of a rural nature. There is farm equipment, livestock plushies, and even an authentic mechanical bull ride sitting in the corner! What could this strange girl's name be?

It seems her name is Vacuous Bimbo! She doesn't like that name at all. Her real name is actually Lexi Dallas.

Lexi Dallas lives at the top floor of a high-rise apartment building in New York City. She shares this fairly large apartment with her mother, whom she is perpetually angry with due to her choice of residence. Lexi told her mother time and time again how she wished to live on the countryside with her grandparents.

Alas, her mother refused, saying she needed to move to New York for a tremendous opportunity regarding her job. Of course, she did agree that it was a perfectly good reason to move, but she still didn't like it. To make her daughter happy, Lexi's mother gladly purchased many items reminiscent of farm life for Lexi to personalize her room with. Everything from Lexi's bed to her window curtains had rural influence.

A lasso hung around her bed post. She would need it if she wanted to rassle them sheeps if they got outta their pen again! She allocated the Git! lasso to her Lassokind Specibus in her Strife Deck. Also present was her Fistkind Specibus; she was fairly handy, to say the least.

Lexi proceeded to have a conversation with Bill you've already read, and then checked the download on her Server copy of the Sburb Beta. Just an hour and a half remaining. Lexi was thrilled. From what PN had told her about the game, it would allow Lexi to see her friends face-to-face for the first time!

But for the moment, she was just a bored wannabe farm girl. She examined her choice of outfit in the mirror she had slightly modified to have an "antique" look to it. She wore a white shirt with a purple horseshoe (She thought it was a regular horseshoe; as it turns out, it was actually official General Mills Lucky Charms merchandise. She hated General Mills with a fiery passion). She also wore a long-sleeved red flannel shirt over it, though she had the sleeves rolled up to just below her elbow, as well as a pair of gray denim short shorts and cow(girl)boy boots. Her blonde hair was tied into two braids that ran down her back.

A tan cow(girl)boy hat hung on the edge of her mirror, which she Captchalogued to her Horseshoe Fetch Modus. The hat was stored into a card, which turned into a miniature horseshoe. If she wanted to retrieve the hat, she would have to throw the horseshoe and hook it around... Something.

She exited her room, being greeted by her dog, Milk! The fluffy sheep dog tackled his owner to the ground, licking her face and inciting Lexi to giggle profusely. Even with all of her farm equipment, this dog was probably the closest thing she actually had to farm life.

However, her joy was cut short by the tick-tock of her nearby mother's footsteps! The presence of Milk made Lexi particularly peeved at her mother, as if having the dog, no matter how much she loved him, could possibly replicate the farm lifestyle. She prepared for Strife!

LEXI: AGGRESS

Lexi retrieved her Git! lasso from her Strife Deck, whipping the rope across the room and wrapping the loop around the neck of a decorative vase. She yanked it backwards and it crashed to the floor, breaking to pieces.

MOM DALLAS: AGGRIEVE

Lexi's mom pointed a stern finger at her rougish daughter for the millionth time that day, threatening harsh punishment.

LEXI: ACCUSE

"It's your fault I'm acting like this, mom!" Lexi blamed her mother. "It wouldn't have to come to this if we hadn't move to this stupid apartment!

MOM DALLAS: ASSAIL

Lexi's mom closed in on her daughter, revealing a wooden ruler. Gripping her daughter's wrist, Lexi's mom rapped her daughter's knuckles with the ruler as punishment

LEXI: ABSCOND

Lexi, gripping her hand in pain, fled from the encounter, locking herself in her room with Milk. She then logged onto PesterChum and saw that only one chum was online, and decided to pester him.

\- urbanCowgirl [UC] began pestering patrioticYankee [PY] -

UC: ugh i am just furious with ma' mama!

PY: why so angry, eh?

UC: she beat me with a ruler!

UC: she just don't understand me

PY: hey i'm sorry

PY: i'm sure she'll understand eventually

PY: at least you live in a cool place

UC: a' hate new york!

PY: i'm talking about AMERICA!

UC: oh gosh...

PY: you guys have it great!

PY: the good ol' USA!

PY: home of the free, land of the brave!

PY: not to mention that flag! ol' glory is just gorgeous!

UC: yank...

PY: why, what i wouldn't give to live in AMERICA!

UC: yank.

PY: hey, maybe we could switch places, you and i.

UC: YANK!

PY: *what*?

UC: yer rantin' again.

PY: oh.

PY: i'm sorry, eh.

UC: it's okay.

UC: i think i'm gonna lay down for a while, okay?

PY: do whatever you need.

UC: cya.

PY: bye.

\- urbanCowgirl [UC] ceased pestering patrioticYankee [PY] -

Lexi logged out of PesterChum and checked the Sburb download. Just a couple minutes remained.

She guessed she could stay up and see what it was like when it finished. She would wait before she installed the Client disc, however.

Another young girl stood in her room; this one was ornately decorated, with lots of expensive décor such as gold-plated everything and burgundy velvet furniture. This girl doesn't have a name either. What will it be?

Her name just so happens to be named Jaded Harlot! She frowns in disapproval at what is obviously not her real name. Her true name is Suzy Goodwin.

Suzy Goodwin and her family are all very, very rich. Her father (Who isn't around very much) inherited his riches from his father, who inherited them from his father, a great tycoon.

They are so rich, in fact, that they could easily afford one of the easiest-to-use Fetch Moduses avaliable - the Bank Account Modus. All Suzy has to do to retrieve her Captchalogued items is deposit an amount of money dependent on the complexity of the item.

Suzy looked in the expensive glass of her expensive mirror, which had an ornate gold frame, that was very expensive. She admired her outfit, because she knew it was expensive.

She wore a black cardigan over a white T-shirt, both made from the finest materials avaliable, as were her fashionable black skirt and leggings. She wore a pair of boots made from definitely legally obtained bear fur, and had a stylish brown hairdo. To top it all off, her white shirt proudly displayed a burgundy dollar sign.

She looked out the window. Her room was situated directly above the entrance to her family's massive mansion, made entirely out of solid gold. Around the heavily guarded walls was a congregation of various hobos and beggars. Suzy pressed a button on her windowsill, and a small microphone (Gold-plated, of course) lowered from a hatch on the ceiling. "Leave, peasents! And don't get the road outside my house dirty!" she commanded, her voice amplified to speakers outside.

The mob, disappointed, left, returning the Goodwin mansion to silence. Suzy turned to her desk. The latest, most expensive computer model around sat on her desk, and beside it was a miniature, hollow replica of the Goodwin mansion that housed Suzy's pet turtle Reggie.

Suzy picked up the cute reptilian and smiled at him; one of the few things that gets her to smile. She put him back in his mansion and turned to her computer. Thanks to multiple disk slots, absurdly fast Internet, and a whopping seven-hundred terabyte storage capacity, she could have hundreds of programs running and downloading all at once and still be faster than any computer avaliable to the common folk. To be fair, she was no common folk.

Plus, she had two monitors, which was a huge plus.

She picked up the envelopes containing the Client and Server copies of the Sburb Beta and inserted them into her CPU's disk slot. They both downloaded completely in two and a half minutes. Suzy frowned; that was the longest download she's ever had with that computer.

Regardless, she clicked on the icon for the Sburb Beta and was faced with the option of launching the Server or Client application. Before she decided, she pestered one of her chums to get his input.

\- parsimoniousNarcisist [PN] began pestering patrioticYankee [PY] -

PN: it is i, Suzy Goodwin

PY: hey, suz

PY: what do you need from me, eh?

PN: have you downloaded sburb yet

PY: i sure have!

PY: it installed *really* fast out here, thanks to the ridiculous wifi tower you installed for me out here

PN: what can i say

PN: i had money to burn so i figured why not

PN: it was very expensive but i was able to afford it

PN: you know

PN: because im rich

PY: haha yeah cool!

PY: you wanna play?

PN: i guess i could spare a few moments yes

In reality, Suzy couldn't wait to get her hands dirty, figuratively speaking. She would never purposefully get herself dirty. However, she had to keep an image amongst her friends, and that was of a high-class lady. Which she obviously was, of course.

PY: *sweet*!

PY: do i pick server or client?

PN: you pick client

PN: i will be the server

After a couple seconds, a terminal-like black screen with white text appeared, that read:

"SBURB version 0.0.1

© SKAIANET SYSTEMS INCORPORATED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

SBURB server is running.

You are trying to connect with a SBURB client user.

Client has established connection with host.

Press [ENTER] when ready."

Below this was an arrow followed by a flashing underscore, meaning it was awaiting a command. Suzy hit enter, and a viewport of Matt's home appeared.


End file.
